Chinese Students: The good, the bad, the adorable

Teaching in China is without a doubt the most rewarding, entertaining thing I have done with my life.  If you ever get a chance to live in China I recommend it.  Like any job there are ups and downs, but the kids they are worth it.  They are so cute!  But they can be so naughty, and the ones that are naughty relish in it.  You can see it in their impish faces the few precious moments you have to head them off before they do something naughty.  Like putting toilet paper on an unsuspecting students head.

That being said, my students are pretty golden.  This is because I am spoiled.  I work at 长沙市一中学, the #1 middle school in Changsha, and I work at a primary school where I am the first foreigner ever to work there and I have a Chinese teacher in the class with me.  The presence of a Chinese teacher is usually enough to stem any naughtiness.  One of my 6th grade classes, I had a student who was drawing breasts in this book.  He refused to share it with me, but I managed to get a look.  But let it go, only to see the notebook cycling around the back of the class.  It was quite amusing.

Stone, from my practicum.  I wish I was teaching him!

My seniors on the other hand are just amusing.  They are all so different from one another.  The way they are naughty is talking in Chinese, they often forget I can understand them.  Or don't notice me, it is fun to make them jump by leaning in and saying “说英文”  "Speak English."

This weekend there was a conference, as I was waiting for my drink, I spotted a student of mine smoking.  This was not shocking for me, everyone smokes in China.  Some of my fellow volunteers tell me that cigarettes are sold in the student store.  Johnson jumped, though, and hide his cigarette.  I shrugged and turned back to my drink.  A few seconds later, here comes Johnson.  He leans on the counter, looks at me seriously and leans in.  "I am sorry Patty."  I looked at him, a bit confused.  "没关系，no problem"  I replied.  "I am really really sorry, Patty."  He says again breathy, worried.  I am pretty sure he was sweating.  "真的没关系, really no problem.  I do not think it is healthy for you to smoke."  He nodded relieved and headed off.  I thought the matter was settled, but sure enough I walk into his class on Wednesday.  Up he walks, his head hanging in shame.  "Patty, I am really sorry."  "No problem, really."  "I am really really sorry"  "It is no problem, I am just worried because it is not healthy.  I like you.  I want you to be healthy."  He perked up when I said this.  "Maybe after class I can get your phone number and then visit you in America..."

Clubs day was Tuesday, all the students were milling about being seduced by various clubs.  The English Club had a terrible location, no costumes and no music.  Alex, who speaks extremely good English, and I did our best to attract some attention.  But to no avail.  Stone, a student who was in my practicum group walked up to me and offered me a rose.  I was touched, I must have gushed "Thank you" about 100 times.  He was embarrassed and made a quick exit afterwards.  I cannot seem to get him to stick around and talk to me!  Damn I love that kid!  He was fantastic in practicum, but I do not get to teach him!  Then I spent the rest of the afternoon, walking and talking with TK.  A senior 3 that Thomas is helping.  TK and I were seen talking, I was holding a rose.  I am almost positive that all my students think we are dating.  They are really funny about dating.  If you ever want students to go crazy just mention kissing, or dating.  It really makes the whole class start giggling and tittering.  It is very amusing.

Then to English Corner, with the privileged kids.  Class 22 is special, only 22 students.  They have 2 foreign English teachers all to themselves.  An older British man named Nick, who is very nice and soft spoken, and a younger (but still older than me) Australian man named Lawrence, who is extremely abrasive.  Lawrence was in charge of the Halloween party and the English corner.  He just never seems to explain things well enough, and then yells at the kids.  I don't like him much.  But I met some really nice students, the girls and I formed a team and trashed the boys.  These kids though are such smart asses, they think they know so much.  At least my senior ones are still impressed by me!

Another student, who has already been discussed, is Challenging.  This kid makes me laugh.  He always tells me what to call the other students.  He is trying to convince me to call a student in his class "Handsome Jackson."  He argues with me about whether I am going to a man's house or a woman's house.  The latest, he told me, mostly through mime, that I should beat up Jack's girlfriend and take him.  Because I am old.  He also informed me that I am not as pretty as Eileen.  What a sweetheart, but really I love this kid.  I am almost positive he is joking with me.

This past week was Movie/Music week.  My classes were good, and they earned a music or movie day.  All the classes chose movie, except one.  Then I let them choose.  4 classes chose Malcolm in the Middle as their "movie".  They loved it, they were laughing at the family dynamics cheering when Malcolm beat up a bully.  I have never seen kids so into a show.  2 classes watched Pushing Daisies, they loved it.  They were on edge during the exciting parts, and giggling and tittering during anything vaguely romantic.  My last class of the week was hilarious.  I was sitting behind this group of girls.  Every time something slightly romantic happened this girl would start twirling her hair, with both hands on either side of her head.  It was extremely comical, after class this girl sent a messenger up to me to ask the name of the actor.  Lee Pace is apparently the epitome of attractive to Senior 1 class 19!  Music was fun, the students laughed when I showed the lyrics to a song that had the swearing left out, and the swearing was replaced by F**king.  Also I never realized that James Blunt swore in "You're Beautiful."  My students cheerfully informed me that there was a bad word in that song.

Today I went to Zhounan and watched my friend's teach their Juniors.  They warned me that their classes can be a little out of control.  Let me just say that the Juniors after lunch were little naughty monsters.  They were playing a kissing game in the back before class started.  Then they were throwing things during class, talking, putting toilet paper on each others heads.  I don't know how Courtney does it.  Let me just say I love Chinese students!

I went to an English Corner at a western style cafe called the 5th tone.  The topic was Wisdom.  "How do you define someone that is wise, foolish?"  "who is the wisest person you know? Why?"  It was interesting to hear their opinions.  Steve Jobs is apparently very wise.  And wise people share their opinions, and listen to other people.  No one said Mao, which honestly I was a little surprised by.